


I Didn't Know Therapy Involved Cute Boys

by HagSpice



Category: South Park
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Awkward Flirting, Dorks, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Twomas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-10-07 16:14:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17369195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HagSpice/pseuds/HagSpice
Summary: Tweek is dreading his first therapy appointment. He'd much rather keep his skeletons safely in his closet, and why does the office need so much personal information anyway?Thomas waits quietly for his therapy session; he's done this for years and it's an old routine at this point. Today, however, a neurotic boy joins him in the waiting room.Two blonds, awkward flirting, nuff said.





	I Didn't Know Therapy Involved Cute Boys

**Author's Note:**

> I was shocked at the lack of Twomas content out there, so I decided to write this in addition to the Twyle piece for the SP Ship Collaboration.
> 
> I've had the headcanon for a while that Thomas and Tweek meet while waiting for their therapy appointments. As someone with mental illness and a regular barrage of medical appointments, I can see them empathizing and bonding over this commonality. Also, I have strong feelings on what wind instruments the SP kids would play (former band teacher), so I made Thomas a clarinet player.
> 
> But enough of that, enjoy these two nerds trying to flirt with each other.

Thomas brushed the flurry of eraser dust away and squinted at his sheet music, his eyes flicking back and forth between the tattered old score and the newly printed one. Confident his articulation and style markings had all been transferred to the fresh copy, He sighed in satisfaction and tucked his music folder into his backpack. Perhaps continuing his clarinet lessons during his first semester of Organic Chemistry wasn’t a wise decision, but having a creative outlet was an invaluable kind of therapy. And he just fucking enjoyed playing.

Alright, ten minutes until his appointment. Not quite long enough to work on anything significant; just enough to get into something and have to stop in the middle of an idea. _Ugh._ He pulled up his calendar on his phone, deciding to check (for third time this morning) that he’d finished all his necessary assignments for the day.

The door to the student health center swung open, rattling its hinge as the wind whipped it against the wall. Thomas jolted, head twitching to the side and prompting a verbal tic. A few fall leaves swirled into the lobby, pulled by the vacuum the door created. A tall redhead marched through the entry, his hands on the shoulders of a petite blond guy as he steered him toward the receptionist. The redhead slapped down identification and insurance cards on the counter, before moving his ward in front of the window; all but lifting him off the ground like a small child. The blond’s wide green eyes scanned the waiting room with skepticism and defiance.

“Tweek Tweak. 10:45 appointment.”

The receptionist looked back and forth between the two young men in slight confusion. Upon taking the cards in front of her, her expression cleared and she retrieved the patient information from her terminal. After her final keystroke, she addressed the blond guy. ‘Tweek’.

“Alright. It looks like you have have a five dollar copay; stop here after your session to pay and schedule your next appointment.” She placed a clipboard on the counter. “Fill these out while you wait, and we’ll be with you shortly.”

The two boys made their way over to the chairs, while Tweek held the clipboard pinched between his thumb and index fingers like a rotting banana peel. He sat down with a huff and Thomas swore he heard a small growl vibrate in his throat. The redhead remained on his feet, folding his arms over his chest and smirking. 

“Can I trust you to stay put until your appointment? As much as I enjoyed tackling you and getting bitten on the way here, I’d really like the extra time to get coffee on the way to Physical Anthropology.”

“Well Kyle, _rrrgh_ guess you’ll have to stick around to find out then, won’t you.” 

Kyle rolled his eyes. “Jesus Christ, Tweek. You’re being such a brat. Craig and I are just trying to help, you dick.”

Tweek looked off to the side, focusing on nothing in particular and pursing his lips in a pout. Honestly, at this point He wouldn’t try to escape, he was resigned to power through his first therapy session to get it over and done with. This morning, Craig had shooed him out of their suite and flung Tweek over his shoulder, trapping him there through the elevator ride to the ground floor. His duties fulfilled, Craig deposited him in front of Kyle, who waited outside their dorm. Wrapping an arm snugly around Tweek’s shoulder, Kyle escorted Tweek to the student clinic at a brusque pace. Tweek almost escaped when Kyle jerked away from him (which was right after Tweek bit the hand wrapped around his shoulder), giving him the opportunity to make a run for it. Unfortunately, Kyle was fast and powered by ginger fury, resulting in Kyle tackling Tweek to the ground and pinning him until he promised to behave. Christ, both Craig and Kyle were noodles- how the hell were they so strong? His handlers aside, he’d already checked in with the receptionist. It would be incredibly rude to leave the office now. 

Kyle’s face softened. They knew each other well, he truly understood Tweek’s reluctance. “This is the worst part, but everything will be fine. You’ll schedule your next appointment on your way out; no having to make awkward phone calls or any of that shit, okay?”

Still refusing to make eye contact, Tweek let out a dramatic _harrumph_. Thomas immediately thought of Jigglypuff, and the way they became huffy when their singing put their audience to sleep. With those large eyes, swoop of wavy hair and adorable sass, he couldn’t deny the resemblance to the Chinpokomon.

“Be brave, Wonder Tweek. I’ll see you later.” With that, Kyle ruffled Tweek’s hair and left the clinic.

Slumping against his chair, Tweek quietly called out, “Bye Kyle.”

Letting out a groan, Tweek clicked the pen and began filling out the forms the receptionist gave him. It was mostly basic stuff like contact information, medical history, known illnesses, medications, and the like. Social Security number?! Jesus, was all of this really necessary? That was a shitload of personal information; someone could do a lot of damage with that. 

“ _A-asshole. Shit._

Ah yes, it was about time he greeted the newcomer. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the pen in Tweek’s hand jerk, and his head briefly jerk up to look at him. Thomas couldn’t blame the guy, it was jarring when you weren’t used to it.

Thomas chanced a look at the guy. His pale blond hair fell in soft waves from the crown of his head, pushed away from his forehead and highlighting his fox-like facial features. Thomas assumed it fell like this from the way he kept raking his fingers through it in an anxious tic. Tweek looked effortlessly disheveled, though not in an intentionally aesthetic way. He had dark circles under the eyes, his satchel needed a few good runs through the washing machine, and there were little scars and pockmarks dotting his arms, probably from picking at them. Still, Thomas found him quite interesting...and handsome.

They sat in relative quiet for a few minutes, the silence occasionally broken by one of their tics. When Tweek’s hand jumped in a particularly sharp spasm, his pen streaked a blue line across the page.

“Oh Jesus! Why do they need to know all this? What if they sell this shit to the CIA?!”

“You should start filing off your fingerprints now.” Thomas had spoken without meaning to, and seeing the look of paranoid fear in Tweek’s eyes, he felt like a jackass. Oh shit, the guy was serious. “Kidding! Is this- _shit, fffuck_ -your first time here?” 

Tweek barked out a laugh. “That obvious, huh?”

“A little. You kinda get used to signing your soul away after a while.” Feeling sheepish for startling the the guy ( _Tweek_ ), he tried to look friendly. “Who are you you here to see?”

His forehead creased in concentration. “Doctor… Green, I think? I-is that good?”

Thomas nodded. “Yeah she’s nice. Pretty laid back, but knows her stuff. Last year I saw her quite a bit.”

“Is there a reason you don’t see her anymore? Oh god, did she convince you that you _ngh_ have dissociative identity disorder, a-and make you use it as a cover to commit a bunch of crimes for her?” Cringing at his outburst, Tweek’s left eye twitched involuntarily. He probably looked like an unhinged stroke victim. 

“That’s- _cock, fucking cock_ -rather specific.” Thomas quirked an eyebrow.

“Well, it uh happened to a friend of mine… Fuck. That’s rude of me to ask that anyway. Just ignore me.”

Thomas smiled, covering his mouth demurely as though that could contain a verbal tic. Yes, that question could be too personal; however, Tweek’s embarrassment and backtracking was rather endearing. He lightly shook his head. 

“No, I don’t mind. I mean, we’re all here for some reason, right? I actually switched because there’s a new psychiatrist who has a fair amount of experience- _ssshit_ -with neurological disorders and their effects on psychological development. They’ve contributed to some clinical studies, too.”

“Oh, um. Do you have Tourette syndrome? Fuck! I’m such an asshole. I’m so sorry for prying-”

The other times Tweek became embarrassed, he retained his brash demeanor; however, now he looked like frightened angora rabbit. A slight tremor ran through him while he shrank back like he expected Thomas to smack him. He idly wondered if the guy’s lack of filter had gotten him in trouble before.

“It’s alright. I do, yeah.”

Tweek cracked an eye open. When had he closed them anyway? Oh. The guy was sitting there, staring at Tweek with a curious smile; he wasn’t moving to the furthest seat or sharpening his pitchfork. Tweek finally looked at the guy, like _really_ looked. Sweet baby Moses, he was cute. Classically handsome, but not like some bland J Crew model or a Disney prince. Dark blond hair and warm brown eyes. Shapely lips that curved in a perfect cupid’s bow. Tweek’s own lips were thin, and he often bit or sucked at them when chatting up a guy, attempting to make them more plump and enticing. This guy definitely didn’t have that problem. He had a rugged edge to his look, like he spent time outdoors and wasn’t interested in staying clean-cut. And there was something sage in the way the corners of his eyes crinkled as he smiled, as though he’d gone through more bullshit than the average twenty year old.

“I um, didn’t wanna draw unnecessary attention to it,” _like your lips are doing,_ “but like I also didn’t want to ignore it?” _As if I can ignore such a pretty guy who isn’t bothered by my crazy ass._ “I-if that makes sense...”

He gave a small nod. “It does, I appreciate it. Y-” But before he could continue, an olive skinned man stepped through the door with a plaque reading ‘Offices’.

“Thomas?” He called, before his eyes landed on the pair of blonds.

Though a little relieved that Dr. Costas saved him from any clumsy attempts of flirting, he realized he was dismayed that he hadn’t been able to talk to Tweek for very long. Well, at least the conversation ended before he did something mortifying.

Feeling the urge to give Tweek some final reassurance, he said, “Try not to stress too much. The first session is pretty generic; reviewing your history, talking about goals for your treatment and stuff. You don’t have- _fuck_ -to dive into the deep stuff until you’re ready.”

As Thomas stood, Tweek ran his spindly fingers through his hair, wishing the flush in his cheeks would calm the fuck down. “Thanks, man. See you on the other side.”

“Yeah, you too… Tweek, right?” He knew his name was Tweek, the receptionist said it perfectly clear. He couldn’t make himself shut up, and not because of his tics.

“Yeah, t-that’s me.”

Dr. Costas smiled knowingly at the boys before gesturing Thomas toward his office. “Good to see you again. Having a good day so far, yeah?”

Tweek watched as they retreated behind the door, shaking his head a couple times before returning to his clipboard. It only took a couple minutes to complete his new patient forms, able to fill in the information in the provided spaces from memory. He only paused to give the HIPAA acknowledgement document a skeptical frown. _Uh huh. Sure government, I’m completely confident you’re maintaining my privacy to the highest of industry standards._

Tweek had drug himself into his new therapists office like a cadet to their first skirmish, sending both Kyle and Craig the “Don’t cry for me, I’m already dead” screencap of Barney from The Simpsons. Upon leaving his first session, however, he felt a little foolish for making such a fuss about it. _Whatever, one of the reasons you’re here is for your anxiety. It’ll get better._ The appointment was fine...great, actually. Dr. Green could tell Tweek was rather apprehensive, but she was soft spoken and genial enough to ease his trepidation. Moreover, she didn’t push him to share anything in particular, or start probing into his walk-in closet of skeletons.

Making his way back into the lobby, Tweek’s gait stuttered when he saw Thomas at the receptionist desk. That made sense; they both went into their appointments at pretty much the same time, he’s probably scheduling his appointment. While Tweek made his copay and scheduled his next therapy session, he noticed Thomas lingering near the exit. He rummaged in his backpack for several moments, before flicking through something on his phone. A little rush of excitement ran through Tweek, and he dared to hope that Thomas was stalling for him.

When Tweek finished at the reception desk, Thomas headed toward the exit, several paces ahead of him and at an appropriate distance to politely hold the door open. Upon stepping out into the crisp fall air, Thomas paused and turned to him.

“Our um conversation got cut short, didn’t it?” Oof. He sounded so meek and unsure of himself.

“Yeah! It did...but we can continue _ngh_ it- i-if you WAnt TO?” Excellent. Randomly shouting at the guy, certainly that would woo him. At least he tried, putting himself out there for a stranger, like he was actually social or something. But then Thomas smiled, a little shy, and nodded his head.

They dropped their school bags on a stone bench outside the student health center, and continued to chatter away, sharing basic facts about their studies and lives. They were both from Colorado; Thomas from Denver, and Tweek from a redneck mountain town. Tweek was studying architecture and design, while Thomas was majoring in Chemistry. The conversation felt natural, even as they launched questions at each other in an inelegant volley; and despite his candid answers and light teases, Tweek actually seemed to be nervous about their interaction in the same manner Thomas was. 

He was fairly certain that Tweek was interested in him; the guy didn’t seem to be capable of masking his emotions or intentions. Which, honestly, was pretty damn refreshing. He wouldn’t need to constantly drag the thoughts from his head or wonder where they stood. At times reverent, but also playful and clever; Tweek was exciting, something he hadn’t realized how much he appreciated. Tweek bobbed with frenetic energy, damn near vibrating. 

As each minute flew by, Tweek was sure he’d scare Thomas off and be left in a cartoon-like cloud of dust. Thomas was direct and well spoken, but also full of fire when talking about something he found particularly interesting. There was a tenacity about him, a quality Tweek actively sought out in his friends and partners. But what surprised him the most to discover, was an air of grace; a gentle strength of will.

“Oh, you take clarinet lessons here? I played piano for years, but didn’t even realize that I could keep doing that without majoring or minoring in music! How-” Tweek froze, and his eyes narrowed as he glared at something behind Thomas. “ _-Son of a bitch._ I knew I’d find you, you fat fuck!”

Spinning around, Thomas noticed a plump grey squirrel with a ruddy stripe down its back. It jumped when Tweek shouted, rippling its tail in annoyance. The stout animal had a corncob clutched between its pointy teeth, but as Tweek took a step forward, it abandoned the food scrap and darted toward the nearest tree trunk.

Tweek shook his fist and pointed to the tree the squirrel was perched in, clearly not giving a shit about any onlookers. “No one steals from me and gets away with it! I know where you live!” 

Briefly scrutinizing the squirrel, Thomas realized, “ _Shit, assfucking shit._ That’s him, he stole my sandwich! I turned away for barely five seconds, and the asshole tore apart- _fucking dick, asshole_ -my turkey on pumpernickel and dragged it away.”

Like a slow motion shot in a Wes Anderson film, Tweek turned toward Thomas in a languid swoop, his eyes wide and lips parted.

“That bastard took my chocolate croissant. No one believes me, you’re the first _ngh_ person to back me up.” 

His tone was so soft and hushed in awe, earthy green eyes filled to the brim with gratitude, as he reached his hands toward Thomas in a beseeching gesture. The magical little moment between them broke, however, when the jerkass squirrel scampered down to the base of the tree, reclaiming the corncob and chittering smugly.

With some manner of primal shout, Tweek launched himself at the tree, kicking off the trunk and gaining momentum to reach the lowest branch. He clambered onto it, but refused to stop there, reaching for a higher branch where his quarry sat. As Tweek slapped his hands on the branch, however; the dry bark simply peeled off in his palms.

It wasn’t a terribly large drop, which probably wouldn’t result in anything worse than some scrapes or a sprained ankle; but Tweek’s level of adrenaline and surprise increased the possibility for a bad fall. Thomas braced his legs and readied himself, hoping to catch Tweek around the torso and slow his descent. He had a good four inches on Tweek’s height, who was also pretty thin, so he probably wouldn’t be crushed. Probably.

Tweek landed against Thomas, sliding against his chest and through his arms, and thankfully he had the good sense not to flail his arms as he fell. Though Thomas definitely absorbed a fair amount of the impact, Tweek still hit the ground with a noticeable thud. Unfortunately for Thomas, the force pushed him backward, causing him to stumble to the ground with Tweek. 

Breathing heavily, Thomas froze, scanning Tweek’s face for any indication he was in pain. When their breath slowed, he realized how close they were. His cheeks burned as he noticed he had his left leg stretched over Tweek’s hips, right knee folded against his ribs, and right elbow above his head. They were quite close. Intimately so. 

Hyper aware of their proximity, Tweek shut his mouth, making his teeth click as they connected. It would be best to avoid being a creepy mouth breather in this moment. Tweek was close enough to see the deep flecks of espresso in Thomas’s sienna irises, and to catch the scent of his cinnamon chewing gum. The warm, spicy scent suited him.

“See? I’m v-very graceful.”

The little movements of Tweek’s lips caused their noses to bump. There were only a couple centimeters between them, and Thomas spied the palest little freckles across Tweek’s nose and cheeks. They were so fair, as though Tweek never stayed out in the sun. 

Warm, it was warm. The surge of adrenaline and their current position brought a wave of heat over them, which did not fucking help the awkward tension. Thankfully, a pleasant gust of wind whipped through the quad, cooling the two of them physically and figuratively. Reaching up with a timid hand, Tweek coaxed a lock of hair away from Thomas’s eyes. Even during the touch, Thomas didn’t move his eyes from the little freckles. Before Tweek had a chance to lower his hand, Thomas leaned in and placed a kiss at the corner of his mouth. 

“ _Aah Fuck me running._ ”

The blood drained from his face, and Thomas swallowed thickly, chasing down the lump in his throat. This wasn’t the first time one of his tics showed up during a personal moment, but that familiarity wasn’t exactly comforting. Fuck. That was way too much. Why the hell did he do that? This is exactly why he usually shouldn’t try to flirt with people. Words became unreliable and traitorous when his anxiety spiked, so he attempted physical gestures instead. But this instance proved that he shouldn’t do anything. Ever. He should just find a cave, become a hermit, end of list.

With a squeak, Tweek clamped a hand over his mouth. A deep blush had spread over his face and threatened to overtake his neck and ears as well. He looked like he may die from humiliation. Oh. OH. It was _Tweek_. 

“Wow. Um, as much as I enjoy dirty talk, it’s a little soon for that, don’t you think?”

Tweek groaned and let his head thump back against the grass, still avoiding Thomas’s eyes. “Leave me. I shall remain here until my bones are interred with the earth.”

“What a- _a-asshole_ -drama queen. I’ve said way worse in much more...intimate situations.”

“Tell me about it.” Tweek shot up, propping himself on his elbows. There was no way Thomas could mistake the mischievous glint in his eyes. “No really, tell me about it.”

“Calm your tits, thirsty boy. I show, not tell...if you play your cards right.” The bravado and absence of tics caught him off guard, but also gave him a major swell in confidence. Tweek’s sharp inhale and the widening of his earthy green eyes threatened to make Thomas lose his grounding completely.

Woah okay, Thomas is definitely flirting. Tweek couldn’t believe it, especially after he fell out of a tree like a dumbass while trying to capture a fluffy critter. _What, like putting his mouth on your mouth wasn’t enough of an indication?_

Clearing his throat, Thomas stood, offering a hand to Tweek and pull him up. 

“What were you planning to do if you caught that squirrel, anyway?”

“I hadn’t thought t-that far ahead, man. I don’t know, take his nuts?”

“Oh my god, you are such a fucking dork.”

Tweek flashed Thomas a wolfish grin. “Yeah, but is it working for me?”

“...Maybe.” _Okay, this is the perfect time. Just do it. It’s pretty much a sure thing._ “So, um would you like to go to lunch?”

Tweek raised a hand to his mouth with a theatrical gasp. “Mhmm.” He was well aware that he was acting like a anime school girl, but fuck it- he had a lunch date with a dashing young man. When Thomas offered Tweek his arm, he eagerly accepted. Well, at least they were both blushing like besotted idiots.

“Tell me more about your purloined sandwich. Get me in the mood for lunch.”

“Many times I’ve pondered the meaning of grief, I find myself gazing out the window despondently, much like a- _fucking shit, cock_ -widow stares longingly at the sea, hoping her long lost captain will return home.”

“That’s harrowing as fuck.”

Thomas laughed before continuing. “Though it pains me, I often find myself ruminating on the concept of loss as the sun sinks below the horizon. What it means to lose exquisite pillows of bread, turkey which has been roasted to perfection….”

**Author's Note:**

> Squirrels on university campuses are greedy jerks. True story: At a department cookout, I watched a pair of them steal a hamburger (bun included) and corn on the cob. They're almost as bad as raccoons, man. 
> 
> Come say hi on tumblr! @hagspice


End file.
